Sleep. Repeat…how would that feel? Unfortunately, he knows exactly how that feels but that reminds him of her and he cannot go there right now. He feels beat down by life. Not much in the mood to think about when the days were filled with laughing, flirting, and fun. He has been to enough therapy to know that when he is bummed out that is exactly when he thinks of her the most. She is the symbol of what he wanted – passion, excitement, energy, a challenge, a connection of mind and body. He nods his head when they say, ‘it wasn’t her she wanted, she just represented all of it.’ Given enough time and access it would have happened with any woman. This. Woman. Means. Nothing. He promises to come back to reality, get his head screwed on straight again, suck it up. He does ok for a while but then the numbness starts to wear him down and he lets himself drift. This week is particularly crappy – it’s his birthday. At this time last year he could be with her everyday. If not in person, over. I could feel the presence of someone behind us. The temptation to look over my shoulder was almost overwhelming but I kept my head down. I looked up when it was in place and Carol took her leg off the table. She blew a kiss to someone behind me. I didn't look round, picked up my coffee and drank a little with as much nonchalance as I could muster."They've gone," she whispered, leaning over the table towards me. She picked up my hand and kissed it. "Do you think they could tell how wet that made me?" Come on," I said. "Let's go home before you make the seat sticky."Carol was in a good mood all the rest of the way so I did nothing to disturb it. When we arrived, she wanted me to print the best of the pictures I took.“When you’re done I want you to strip and bring it to me, I’ll be waiting for you.”I guess it took me ten or twelve minutes what with waiting for the pictures from Carol’s phone to come across to my Mac at the highest resolution and then playing with the colour and.
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